dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
