How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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