think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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