It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
