She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We have so much sex to catch up on
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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