Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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