Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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