I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
