sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
