In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
