I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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