Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize