i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
