i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
