but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
