Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
