But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
