can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
