I am puke
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
