i permit you to call me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
