threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
