the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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