I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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