y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
