those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize