At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
