If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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