i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
