There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize