Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
