So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
