She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
