You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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