I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
