Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
