there's paper in my vomit.
Welp...herpes.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
