did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
