i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
