my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
