another moral hangover. fuck.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
