I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
