I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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