I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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