Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
