when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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