I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
