do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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