i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
