You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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