Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
