:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
