i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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