I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Randomize
