Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
