I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
