I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
bring money and cleavage
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
