it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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