I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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