I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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