Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Randomize
