oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
