We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
