Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
