: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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