can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize