you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
