My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
