Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
a search helicopter?!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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