Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my being single is dangerous.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
