Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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